Eventually you’ll understand that there was a reason he walked away, there’s a reason he didn’t call and didn’t fight for you when you would have done anything for him, eventually you’ll see past his bullshit and you’ll be able to see right through the guy you once thought couldn’t possibly hurt you. One day you will see.
One day you’re gonna want her. That girl that knew she wasn’t perfect, but tried to be for you. That girl who wanted nothing more than to be there for you, and loving you was the only way she could. The girl who sees your flaws, but values them as much as your strengths. That girl who still can’t bring herself to hate you, even though sometimes you probably deserve it. The girl that should have you, but doesn’t.
I’ve been here all along just waiting, waiting for you to notice, waiting for you to care. Waiting for you to say that you’ve been waiting too, and you haven’t and maybe you never will or maybe you’re afraid to. But it all hurts the same, and in the end, I’m the one that’s left broken and when I lay down to sleep, I’m still the one crying, so screw the bad timing. I’ve loved you then, like I love you now, like I probably always will.
I saw you today and realized how far apart we’ve grown. I know I should talk to you and ask you how you’re doing. And I really wish I could. But it’s just occurred to me that we’re strangers now. You don’t know me anymore, much less want to, and it’s okay that you’ve moved on. I know that everything’s different now. I’ve been staying strong :)
I just want to know if you meant everything you said. I don’t want you back, I don’t want an apology, I just want the truth. I want to know if what we had was even worth fighting for in the first place. I want to know if I cross your mind, I want to know if you realize how much you messed up; I just want you to miss me.
I’d give him another chance, since I never really gave up. It seemed like I moved on, but all I did was pick myself up and tried being happy. If you have to know, you were always at the top of my heart.
And the harsh reality of life is that you are going to hurt. You’re going to cry over a silly boy - your heart’s going to be broken. But you have to pull yourself together so people don’t see how vulnerable you are because once people see vulnerability, they take advantage of you. And the whole process starts all over again :)
